The Carnival Pony

I’ve kept a sporadic journal over the last several years, I’d recommend it as a way to get your thoughts out of your head and on to paper where they’ll do you less harm.

But although I wrote somewhat regularly, I never got in the habit of going back over things I had written days or months before and re-reading them.  I guess I just wanted to blow off steam, and once the mood was gone, wasn’t really interested in re-visiting it.

But I’ve recently gone back over my journals, and was amazed at seeing different themes and questions repeat themselves.  It’s a good way to get a snapshot of where your head was at, frozen on paper.

I see myself getting stuck at the same point…asking the same questions, taking different approaches, but not punching through the fog to the answer.  It becomes really easy to identify ruts in your thinking.

It reminds me of those little ponies you used to see giving rides at the carnival as a kid, lashed to a pole and walking around and around in the same circle.  Maybe every other day they got to go clockwise instead of counter-clockwise, but they wear the same circle in the grass and see the same things.

On a day to day basis, we tend to see old routines and thoughts dressed in slightly different clothes, and think they are brand new.  By going back over our ruminations, we can see that nope, we were here before…..and stopped just short of a breakthrough.

I’m not sure why I didn’t develop this habit of reviewing things before.  Maybe it’s too comfortable to just plow the same furrow and think you’re breaking new ground.

Or maybe I’m finally able to pick up where I left off and move things a little further down the road.

Whatever the reason, I recommend if you keep a journal, once a week go back to a random page.  You’ll be amazed at how familiar it looks.

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One thought on “The Carnival Pony

  1. That pony ride sounds so sad. The little pony condemned to a life tethered to a pole being led around in a clockwise circle for someone elses’ entertainment. On the other hand… that little pony might really like little kids and might really get a kick out of making each one smile. He might actually like the view from his little circle… looking out and seeing the carnival world in all its wonder… from the comfort of his familiar place. Every day a new little person comes along to hop up on his back. He has the chance to give them just a pony ride in a circle… or the ride of their life they’ll remember forever. He gets to choose… a different perspective.

    I’ve never kept a journal but occasionally reference back to the archives on the blog and know exactly what you’re talking about here Harry. But are we really like the pony being led mindlessly round and round in a circle of our own predetermined thoughts? Or are we looking out and pondering… pulling up the posts and redefining the fencelines… and reframing them into something new. I think it is as you suggest… we are simply picking up where we left off… and moving things a little further down the road. I like that. It has a nice ring to it. Not a circle mind you… a ring. There’s a difference! LOL Thanks Harry. Plenty to ponder here.

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